Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Giving In and Learning to Love It

It took me a long time to get to the point where I could admit to myself I wanted to be a writer. There’s nothing prudent or practical about laboring for years to produce something that may never see the light of day. And if it does – see the light of day, that is – chances are it won’t bring in the boku bucks you’ve been hoping for. So to keep writing is, well, crazy.

I have trouble justifying my desire to write as a career. As a hobby? Sure, no problem. But a career is something different. A writing career requires persistence and sacrifice and all the self-doubt you’d expect and then some. In order to write in the face of all the odds – and the odd looks your friends and neighbors give you – you are going to have to give something up – probably a number of things. Going from writing as a hobby to writing as a career, even the early stages of one, requires a dramatic shift in how you view yourself and your work.

For me, I had to give myself permission to write. And until I did that, the words didn’t come. I would self-censor, telling myself it was wrong to dream, impractical to spend so much time on something where successes are invisible and so personal they cannot be shared. Even when I convinced myself it was ok to write, I had to fight for each word I’d scribble down in my notebook. I kept slogging. Like anything, acceptance takes time. But now that I have come to a place where I can sit down, pen in hand, and not feel guilty, the words often come faster than I can write down, and I can’t help but love every minute of it.

4 comments:

Laura Marcella said...

YES! I struggle with the same thing. But we're not alone! I feel a lot better knowing there are many other writers out there who can't seem to voice it. I feel like I need something to show for it because that's what everyone expects when you say you write. Aaargh, it's annoying, isn't it? Oh well. It's not a nonwriter's fault; he just doesn't understand the daily perseverance, rejection, craziness, and joy we deal with!

Happy writing!!!

Laura Marcella said...

I have an award for you over at my blog!

Laura Marcella said...

It's at the end of today's post. :)

Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said...

Great post! That transition from hobby to career is hard, especially since the paycheck is exactly zero dollars. But congratulations on following your dream and giving yourself permission to write!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...